Encouragement vs. Obligation
“So what is the most important thing that I, as a parent, can do to help my child be successful at music?”
This is a question that I hear my parents ask in my music studio all the time.
The most simple answer is to encourage your child to...
practice
But how do we break this down? How do we make this seem not like a burdensome activity but rather one that improves self-confidence and provides a sense of accomplishment?
I've always been self-motivated when it comes to music, and my parents never discouraged me from playing/practicing my clarinet at home - even in the beginning stages when, let's face it...the sound coming from my clarinet was probably not...pleasant. But they knew that, in time, it would provide me with highly meaningful experiences, and this has turned out to be very true. But I digress...
Practice in music should never feel like an obligation.
“Regular practicing is a path towards self-discipline that goes way beyond music — it's a skill that has hugely positive ramifications for personal fulfillment and lifetime success. (How ‘tiger mom’ is that?) But the trick is that self-motivated discipline isn't exactly first nature for most kids, so it's up to families to help create positive, engaging and fun ways to practice as a path towards self-motivation.”
— Anastasia Tsioulcas (NPR Classical)
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Some children are not inherently self-motivated to begin with. It lies dormant and is yearning to come alive. This is when parents and the family as a whole must give a helping hand, so to speak.
Below are some tips and tricks to keep your child motivated:
- Try leaving the instrument out (in a safe place) already put together so that your child can pick it up like a game or a toy, says Tsioulcas.
- give your child a choice between practicing and doing chores; they will most likely always choose practice
- inspire your child by taking them to musical performances at your nearest jazz club or symphony orchestra.
- make sure you make the time available for your child to practice; that he/she is not feeling overwhelmed
- get involved; ask your child to play for you, listen and praise
There are many ways to help your child succeed, but the fact that you even ask is proof enough of your commitment to your child's ability to grow and learn as a musician.
Please feel free to leave comments below so that other parents may glean from your experience.